Seek recognition of beauty and value in [...]]]> In spite of all the fear available to us in our world and in our personal lives, we still get the best results by being steadfast in holding our minds to that which we desire to create and experience in life rather than that which we don’t.

Seek recognition of beauty and value in all things.

When u have a “problem” look for the value in it. There’s always something if you look.

And above all… hold yourself in harmony with the allowance of the life you wish to live.

I invite you to start recognizing how some of these [...]]]> I’ve come to recognize some statements and questions as “argument starters” and I’m now choosing not to respond to these types of statements and questions. They usually arent worth responding to, and as the name suggests, they typically result in the creation of an argument.

I invite you to start recognizing how some of these questions and statements begin. Here are a few potential “argument starters”:

You always…
You never…
Why do you…
You shouldn’t…
No…
Don’t…
Can’t you…
You don’t…
I hate that…

Obviously not every sentence that starts like the above is going to cause an argument, however I’ve found it that its worth noting when someone starts a sentence to me this way. Often a sentence begun in the fashion mentioned above will have a stronger emotional content than if it were started in a different way.

Everyone has a different way of speaking, and the point of this post is not to say that someone is speaking incorrectly. It is not intended to make anyone wrong. We cannot tell people how to speak, and I don’t recommend trying it.

What I am suggesting here is to be aware when you hear a sentence that was begun in the way that I mention above. This is so that you can be aware of your response.

It may also be helpful to listen for yourself starting sentences in this way, or to see if you can think if there may be a more effective way to communicate.

The sentences above that set me off, may be just that, sentences that set me off personally, and which don’t apply to other people. I don’t know, I can only speak for myself. The point remains, however, that one can become more conscious of one’s speech, as well as one’s responses to another’s speech.

Would you like to suggest some alternative ways to start sentences like the above?

Please add yours in the comments below. ;)

We’re trying to ‘get with the program’ and run a fully social operation here. And we’ve got just TWO ‘likes’ before we can claim our brand, Growth-Space as the URL for our Facebook page.

Can ya spare [...]]]> Twitter: 6200+, Facebook: 23…

So we’ve done okay with Twitter, but neglected Facebook for the longest time.

We’re trying to ‘get with the program’ and run a fully social operation here. And we’ve got just TWO ‘likes’ before we can claim our brand, Growth-Space as the URL for our Facebook page.

Can ya spare a ‘like‘?

Pretty please with cherries on top! ;)

Facebook Page

Twitter Following

We need experiences that allow us to see ourselves in ways that we haven’t considered before. We need to resolve our perceptions of our strengths and weaknesses in order to see clearly where we stand and how best to move forward. This type [...]]]>

Our ability to grow depends largely upon our ability to ‘see’.

We need experiences that allow us to see ourselves in ways that we haven’t considered before. We need to resolve our perceptions of our strengths and weaknesses in order to see clearly where we stand and how best to move forward. This type of growth happens within community.

Community is a mirror and an opportunity for Love.

When we open to others they open to us and we both feel heard. Community is to commune. To be present with. We experience each other with vulnerability, we choose trust and we move first to support.

Community can be large or community can be tiny. It only take two hearts to form community. Your marriage is a community. As is your larger family, workplace, state, nation, race…

The power of the community comes from participation in it, which requires vulnerability to benefit us greatly.

How do you see community’s role as central to our growth?

You make a decision because of the belief that it will cause a certain result. Beliefs, for example, have determined which jobs you’ve sought and which ones you’ve maintained.

Beliefs send us in directions. They interact and assert a subtle, but all pervasive and powerful, effect [...]]]>

Your beliefs are the cause of your decisions.

You make a decision because of the belief that it will cause a certain result. Beliefs, for example, have determined which jobs you’ve sought and which ones you’ve maintained.

Beliefs send us in directions. They interact and assert a subtle, but all pervasive and powerful, effect on every aspect of our lives. They create the entire life scenario around us without even tipping our attention.

The thing is–we control our beliefs, if we consciously choose to do so. We’re the ones who choose what tapes to run in our heads.

Why choose bad tapes?

If you know that your thoughts, emotions and beliefs play an integral role in the creation of the life around you, it makes sense to exploit that to create more of what you want and less of what you don’t want.

But… to start to make changes in your life requires a change in belief.

A good practice is to ask yourself “is this an empowering belief, or a dis-empowering belief?” — Especially any time you realize that you’re experiencing an emotional charge. If you’re consistent with this you’ll get a pretty quick overview of your persistent belief patterns.

I know that you’ll already know what to do if you find dis-empowering beliefs… throw ‘em away.

Yep. Trash ‘em.

Don’t worry, you can’t throw away reality. You can throw away a belief because knowing that “you” will still exist. You’ll just be a little lighter than you were before.

Usually these beliefs are about ourselves. “I’m not smart enough”, “I don’t have enough money”, “I’m fat”–whatever our stigma is. A thoughts that are particularly pervasive and insidious  return great energy from when you transform them.

Say: “Damn… I did it!”

As an exercise, imagine yourself from the third person. See yourself dressed nice, looking great, feeling great and meeting life’s challenges with ease. See yourself performing exceptionally at something that is meaningful for you.

• How do you act as this version of you?
• How do you carry yourself?
• How do you feel?

Whatever flavor the relief comes in, take it in as you feel and imagine that you walk into this new, confident and calmly-successful version of yourself–merge with your self.

Want to share your experience with this method?

Please leave your experiences in the comments.

We have to be comfortable being ourselves. Without this we never relax, we never become truly at peace, creative, expressive and trusting in a relationship.

You’re okay”

You know those people who just make you feel like “you’re okay” just the way [...]]]> Relationships are built on trust. And the relationship is the most important thing.

We have to be comfortable being ourselves. Without this we never relax, we never become truly at peace, creative, expressive and trusting in a relationship.

You’re okay”

You know those people who just make you feel like “you’re okay” just the way you are?
This is the kind of person that you can be for your partner.  We can learn to allow the other exactly the way they are without condemning even at a subtle level. This engenders a deep and profound level of trust–sense of peace, and of working together.

It then becomes much easier to move forward and much less frightful. We’re more open to be ourselves, and we’re more open to allow ‘the other’ to be themselves, regardless of what that expression may be. And soon we become less apt to take things personally.

Responsibility on both sides

On the flipside it’s all so important that we take measures not be overly sensitive about the remarks of others. Remember not to take things personally. It might be that the thing that someone said didn’t really mean what you thought it did. We have to take care not to condemn the person we feel is condemning us. And to do so without denying the fact of our feelings.

What are your thoughts about radical acceptance? Please leave your view points in the comments section.

“Diligence and ultimate caring”

What I’m noticing recently is that he’s mirroring [...]]]> As parents, my wife and I are naturally concerned about our son’s safety and wellness. So when he decides to start climbing the kitchen drawers we get a bit concerned. Usually a “James! Don’t climb those drawers. It’s dangerous.” will resound from either me or my wife.

What I’m noticing recently is that he’s mirroring back the “don’ts”. And what’s more I can see that he’s frustrated. So tonight I decided to give him some space.

Becky and I spoke about it and are on the same page with this. We’d rather allow him to learn more on his own than to create within him a negative pattern of “don’ting” himself and others.

Our intentions are to protect him from the truly serious dangers and give him space to explore a bit less inhibited. After all, why limit someone who was so recently born with limitless potential?

Our concern is that if a negative pattern such as this went on too long, that James would learn a lifelong habit of disallowing himself and others because of this conditioning. Perhaps it is much better to allow him to make the ‘little’ mistakes and deal with the ‘little’ messes that ensue, rather than setting up a pattern of anxiety and fear.

We discussed other options such as leading him with positive statements and requests, such as “James, would you like to play with Magic Board in the living room?”, which works well to get him to stop flushing the toilet repeatedly or standing in the fridge when wer’e trying to close it.

Through our compassionate listening and a focused intent to understand the intelligence he shares, he shines.

How about you?

Do you ever find yourself “don’ting” someone you care about?

Please leave your experiences in the comments to spark a dialog on “don’ting” each other.

Drop videos, images and links right into your status updates. They’ll show up in the Newsfeed right along with everything else.

Don’t believe me? Go try it! (shameless ploy)

Thanks peeps! ;)