I’ve come to recognize some statements and questions as “argument starters” and I’m now choosing not to respond to these types of statements and questions. They usually arent worth responding to, and as the name suggests, they typically result in the creation of an argument.

I invite you to start recognizing how some of these questions and statements begin. Here are a few potential “argument starters”:

You always…
You never…
Why do you…
You shouldn’t…
No…
Don’t…
Can’t you…
You don’t…
I hate that…

Obviously not every sentence that starts like the above is going to cause an argument, however I’ve found it that its worth noting when someone starts a sentence to me this way. Often a sentence begun in the fashion mentioned above will have a stronger emotional content than if it were started in a different way.

Everyone has a different way of speaking, and the point of this post is not to say that someone is speaking incorrectly. It is not intended to make anyone wrong. We cannot tell people how to speak, and I don’t recommend trying it.

What I am suggesting here is to be aware when you hear a sentence that was begun in the way that I mention above. This is so that you can be aware of your response.

It may also be helpful to listen for yourself starting sentences in this way, or to see if you can think if there may be a more effective way to communicate.

The sentences above that set me off, may be just that, sentences that set me off personally, and which don’t apply to other people. I don’t know, I can only speak for myself. The point remains, however, that one can become more conscious of one’s speech, as well as one’s responses to another’s speech.

Would you like to suggest some alternative ways to start sentences like the above?

Please add yours in the comments below. ;)